Gratitude

Intro

I've been meaning to talk about gratitude for a while. Gratitude is a cross cutting theme in many religions and spiritual schools of thought. Many sources claim it's basically a cheat code for life.

I have a lot in my life to be grateful for, and it is genuinely frustrating when I feel like it isn't enough.

So the next week will be an exercise in gratitude.

Day One, 21/09/2020 -  It's about being present with the feeling of having enough

I finally understand why my previous attempts at gratitude all failed. They were superficial, I tried to think my way into gratitude. This may work for some people but unfortunately not for me.

Doing something, or not doing something, or changing how you do something has been my preferred method for self actualisation; it's almost as if the action is proof that if I want to change something about my life then I definitely can. But in my opinion doing something differently in the name of gratitude is difficult.

I had a dream last night where items I'd lost began to reemerge. They weren't anything significant, but it allowed be to be present with the feeling of having enough and not being in lack.

I believe that the feeling of having enough is present in the background for all of us, and once you know what it feels like, you can be more aware of when you align with that feeling, and when you deviate from it.

It's very ironic how now we're in the best position to create a life for ourselves as adults, that's when we decide that for whatever reason it isn't enough.

What helps me stay present with the feeling of gratitude is thinking back to when I was younger; the younger versions of ourselves didn't need nearly as much space, resource, or attention to feel like they had enough.

What also helps is thinking "what if I did have all those things I desire?" just being more aware of the feeling not being in lack.

Day Two 22/09/2020 - "Wet Socks"

I remember watching a documentary about lottery winners when I was younger. There was a woman on the show who's father had won the lottery, but used all of the money to fund a minibus programme which delivered cancer patients to and from hospital.

When asked whether or not she was upset about not having the money she explained that she just learned to shift her perspective, learning to appreciate the little things like "having dry socks to put on after coming home in the pouring rain". I think she was alluding to focusing on gratitude.

The main takeaway is that it is important to scale down the context of gratitude, so that your affirmations of gratitude feel genuine.

Dry socks aren't that big of a deal, except in the domain of being in wet ones. It's important to highlight not only what you should be grateful for, but also why and make this why personal to you.

Day 3, 23/09/2020 - It's always the right time to feel grateful

I have a problem with this being part of my internal dialogue "Once I have___, then I will be happy with what I have" and honestly it sucks so much. There is nothing wrong with acknowledging that yes, certain things could improve my life (by my own standards).

The issue arises when you lose yourself in what could be, overlooking what you already have. In particular when you're waiting for the right circumstances to be content with what you have. 

I need to learn to shorten the distance, the difference, the timeline between what I have already and what I think I need to be satisfied.

Doing so allows you to be more grounded, and take better care of, and pay more attention to what you already have.

How can you make the most of your life now if you keep abandoning it?

Think about all the opportunities you could be missing by waiting for the right circumstances to experience gratitude. It's important to take that same energy and use it to navigate the gifts you already have.

That desire for better things is an energy that can be channeled for good. The issue is when your life in its current state is neglected in the name of waiting for the right circumstances as this is stagnation.

That frustration at wanting to change your circumstances is an untapped energy resource.It should be invested in the life you have already, rather than squandered on frustration with what you don't have..

Or even worse, trying to rush through the story arc of your life. I believe that everything has a time, a place and a schedule... but sometimes I forget. I hope that being present with gratitude will help me to better appreciate this, and that I fully absorb and get the most out of one chapter of my life before I move on to the next.

Day 4, 24/09/2020 - Don't be stingy !!

I got complimented on my hair at work today, and my immediate response in my mind was "you're just being polite". 

It made me think, why do I hold back gratitude for somethings and not for others? 

Why do I discriminate when it comes to whether or not something is worth being grateful for? It shouldn't treated like a limited resource, it shouldn't be something that somethings qualify for and others don't. It should be given freely and generously.

I feel like I don't deserve it.

Going forward I'm going to try my best to act like someone who is open to receive, and tell myself that I am deserving of this.

How does this link back to gratitude? I think gratitude is what keeps the door open for being ready to receive, ordinary things become gifts.

I have to mindful of the fact that gratitude is all about being open to receive; I need to start believing I'm worthy of that door being held open.

Day 5, 25/09/2020 -It's probably you, rather than your circumstances

I think it's really important to practice being happy with what I have already. This will help me practice recognising that I am enough and in what ways I am enough.

It isn't actually my circumstances' fault that I am not happy with them, they're an innocent bystander in my negative thought patterns playing out.

Viewing things this way allows me to see my circumstances with more compassion and generosity.

Ungratefulness is circumstance agnostic; there are people who would be very happy with what I have,  and there are people who have everything I could ever dream of and are still unsatisfied. It is important to be cognisant of this, and see it for what it is. If you're not happy with what you have now, who says you're going to be happy with the things you think you want? It's like treating the symptoms and not the underlying cause of the disease.

Day 6, 27/09/20 - being ungrateful is a privilege

It's important to be mindful that the fact we even have the opportunity to be ungrateful for something we have already means we're blessed with something.

Day 7, 27/09/20 - close calls and what they can teach us about gratitude

Another way of being present with the feeling of gratitude is thinking back to any close calls you may have experienced. This again makes you more familiar with the feeling of not being in lack, everything being where it should be and as it should be.

Conclusion

In my opinion lack of gratitude is a symptom of a bigger problem; thinking you have more influence over your circumstances than you actually do. Gratitude is a great way of organising your mind, and makes everything you do shine a little brighter.