Day 1, 01/06/2026 - Intro
It is way easier not to hope for anything good than to take the risk of optimism. It's a defence mechanism. I am writing this on day 2, because I actually started off on a different topic and changed my mind. But these are the thoughts I had from Day 1:
- I'll be okay no matter what.
- Whatever happens I'll be there to see it.
- I am sturdy, I am reliable.
- Optimism isn't just thinking nice, happy, positive thoughts all the time but it's about Optimal thinking. The clue is in the word, what way of thinking is going to do the best for me and my quality of life? Sometimes this is thinking nice, happy, positive things, sometimes it's appropriately recognising truths about a situation.
This 7-day side quest is trialling optimism.
Day 2, 02/06/2026 - Flexibility, Every World at it's Best.
One definition of optimism is the best of all positive worlds. I like how it acknowledges that although there is technically one world, there are many worlds in a way.
I think optimal thinking to be is going with a flow rather than fighting against the current. I'm thinking about the adjustments a computer makes when optimising for power or memory; a dimmer screen, lower quality photographs.
An optimal way of thinking would be to not be too hard on myself about stuff. I'm still learning and growing, I'm not trying to fall short of anything on purpose. Whatever is happening will improve in future.
I think optimism is something that needs to be, "manifested". Letting trying to catch an animal. You can't drag it in; it's not necessarily done on purpose. It's about creating the right conditions, and leaving the door open for it to come in.
You don't think your way into it you create and maintain conditions so it can arrive.
So we're talking about optimism, optimal thinking, the best of all worlds.
Why is my thinking suboptimal sometimes?
I will say, trying to generate certainty in uncertain conditions is one cause. Plus trying to think in absolutes.
How to Lower Stress & Become Comfortable With Uncertainty | Dr. Elissa Epel & Dr. Andrew Huberman
Watched this vide, I like dhow they spoke about how sometimes we need to act in a more passive or receptive way to life and stressors. And other times we need to be more active and engaged, life happens in waves and we need to be able to recognise when to take one approach and when to take another. We need to be able to recognise, when to be productive and put in work, and when we are up against a brick wall and should let go.
This links quite nicely with more of the notes I have in my phone:
I want certainty, but I can't have it.
Optimal thinking and optimistic thinking is lean in a way, more efficient. Being able to appropriately recognise, "I can't have certainty here and I accept defeat".
I think to create the right conditions for optimism, you have to determine which approach is best for your situation.
I was thinking about my relationship with consequences, and how I feel like assuming something is okay and safe when there's a chance it might not be, feels like something that could legitimately kill me.
I don't think it was ever a fear that I wouldn't survive hoping for better circumstances and being disappointed, but that I would have to deal with it alone, without any grace or understanding. Let me not take a risk because when it all goes wrong no one will be on my side, or there to support me.
Copied straight from the iPhone notes app because I'm lazy:
(This flexibility), knowing when to drive, knowing when to let go, for an optimal view of the world, is a real time activity. It happens at your feet right in front of you - it cannot depend on the hallucinations of what people might do and what they’re actions might mean
I didn’t give other things in my life a *chance to be enjoyable. It’s not that I tried them and they weren’t, it’s that I didn’t give them a chance.
It’s all about deciding for yourself
I don’t want to be sensitive anymore
I think we must also talk about not being too attached to any one thing, when discussing optimism.
Because what does the sensitive person believe is going to happen? Why don’t they leave space for optimism?
Is optimism also giving people the right to their own version of things? And not being so bothered that it isn’t exactly like mine?
What is to be gained from my stories looking like yours? I don’t need anything from you.
Uncertainty is opportunity
Being optimistic is in our nature
Being optimistic means being flexible
Desensitised means not staying anywhere too long because it’s the potency that keeps you where you need not be
Day 4 - 04/06/2025 - I don’t care about the facts
I should probably be honest and start with, I don’t care about the facts !!!!
I do wonder why being accurate and optimal, means very little to me.
Goshhh put myself through so much for whatt? I mean no one asked me to, I volunteered.
No one’s gonna look after me, I’m the only that can recognise when I’m hurt, tired, overwhelmed.
It’s not anyone else’s responsibility… and this also means I have free rein. When there aren’t the constraints of other people you can do crazy.
Go missing for a bit and trust that what’s for me won’t miss me.
Even when people do exactly what they want, and exactly what they were going to do, I’ll be fine. I should do exactly what I want.
I don’t let people sit with their consequences and I don’t let their actions have consequences
